Another Tuesday Night

It's actually very early Wednesday morning.

Well, 4 out of 5 people in my house are now either sick or getting sick. I'm not sure who started it, but within the space of an hour I had one complaint of a super-sore throat, and then a coughing baby, and then my throat started to hurt. I don't like the sound of baby Decaf's cough - I hate when the kids are sick :(

I also hate being sick at the same time. That really sucks. However, I guess this explains why I was roasting hot when it was only 68 degrees in the house, and why I was so tired last night and today. Nice. Shit. I hate the sound of that sweet little baby's cough. :(

What sucks for me is that I can't take cold medicine of any kind. There is only one medicine I can take - and that's mucinex, which only makes everything really loose in a head or chest cold - doesn't stop coughing or make it hurt less, though. I'd really, really like to wake up tomorrow and not be sick. Like a 12 hour bug or something - that would be doable.

So anyway, I talked to my sister and my mom about the email that Grande sent to his dad on the 15th (posted below), and both of them think I should sit down and have a talk with him. Yeah, like that would do any-fucking-thing. When we attempt to talk to him he just shuts off completely, or yells then gets up and walks away. If we 'make' him stay sitting and try to force him to listen or talk he really does just totally shut down completely. I'm sure that's what would happen - and God, if he found out I read his email he'd freak out and never talk to me again. However, I'm his mom - I get to read his email if I want to. If he doesn't like that he could always feel free to move out when he's 18 and pay for his own internet connection.

Short Decaf is crying now. That happens when he can't suck his thumb because his nose is stuffy. It's gonna be a long next few days. Shit. I feel so bad for him. I hope I still have his cold medicine. I know I have baby advil, at least.

So - 4 more days left of regular eating before Venti and I start on the Atkins diet. I'm actually looking forward to it. There's nothing I really want in the next 4 days except for that Mongolian BBQ stuff I love so much from the mall - and I could actually have that on the diet if I didn't put noodles in it. Lucky me. That and curry chicken should make it easy to stay on the diet. :) Ya get a tad sick of eggs and tuna after a few days. Really sick of it.

I just wanna look like Angelina Jolie...is that too much to ask???

Actually, if we're being honest - I'd rather have Tea' Leoni's figure than Angelina's. With my face and her abs I think I'd be one hot chick. :) Obviously, from seeing the movie Spanglish, she must do some SERIOUS fucking yoga. This brings me to another point...

I really want to start doing yoga. I have a big collection of yoga-for-beginners videos. The problem is that I never have ANY privacy to do them - and I'm not about to do it in front of anyone other than the baby. So, what do I do? My bedroom is tiny - so I can't put a tv and vcr in there and do it. My basement is scary - so that's out. I guess the answer is that if I wanted to do yoga badly enough that I wouldn't care who saw me. However - as logical as that sounds - I'm way to fucking embarrassed about my weight to let the kids or Venti see me doing yoga. HOWEVER (again) - I REALLY fucking want to do it! Ugh. Maybe this is something I need to work out in therapy. :)

I wonder if I'm the only person in the entire history of the world who is actually looking forward to going to therapy? I mean - it gives me a little bit of hope that maybe I will actually be able to get over some of my phobias and panic attacks, and lead a more normal life. God, that sounds good. Just being able to walk for exercise without being terrified of my heart would be a life altering event! You can't even begin to imagine what that would do for my self-esteem. (Through the roof.)

So anyway - four days until the Atkins diet goes into effect. That also means I have to actually eat 3 meals a day and like 2 snacks or something - and how gross does THAT sound? Eating five times a day just is so not me. I think you have to do it though or the diet doesn't work like it's supposed to...something about eating regularly keeping your metabolism going faster. *sigh* Ick. I can't imagine waking up and eating breakfast right away - that's just gross.

Oh - and Venti doesn't think we should weigh ourselves but like once a month or something. That's just torture. He thinks, and I agree, that we will have to be on the diet for 18 months before we both hit our goal weights. So - June of 2007 I guess I'll look like I did when I was 20. That's a good thing - at least I wasn't ugly. I mean - you can undo fat, but you can't undo ugly - well, not without a lot of money, anyway.

Well - I guess this is enough blathering for one night.