Lies, Ungratefulness, and Now I Feel Ashamed

This is an email that my son sent to his father - my ex-husband - about ten days ago. I'm going to defend myself against this shit somehow. What the FUCK would make him say things like this??? I am so ashamed - it's a feeling I don't know why I have because this shit is NOT TRUE. It's 3 in the morning and I feel like going upstairs and shaking him out of bed and asking him WTF??? I hate that he thinks things like this about me. I hate that he lies to his father about the way we live, and the things we "force" him to do.

His sentence of "so has she always been like this, is this normal , i want more than anything to get my car running good and to get a job and a license so that i never have to be here!" about slayed me.

I'm so upset I almost didn't change the names ... ugh.

Dec 15
hi,

i have a ,question,

has my mom said anything to you on the phone or email about me being angry or something being wrong with her or Venti,
because they both have been so angry and crazy lately, me being mad at them is not going to do what is usually does, which is cause me
to move, i refuse to do that again, but right now and for the last 8 or 9 months i would have Rather lived in a sleeping bag in a train in Seattle than live with and put up with theare moods lately,
i have been really trying to make this new school thing work and my teacher said i am doing good and completing everything i should be even tho its supposed to be parent assisted learning and with my mom being who she is it has been more like student doing everything and getting nothing learning, i do about 5 hours of school work a day and all of my homework, i got a 100 percent on my last math homework!
even with me doing everything they want they are just making it harder for me, to make things even worse for me she had $100 she got from google, the deal with my laptop was that if i cleaned the house every day and did laundry and stuff like that (which i did every day anyway with no help from them) that she would give me the money to give to them for my laptop, it has been it has been like 6months and have not seen any money for all of my cleaning which was a lot of cleaning, so now she gets $100 from Google she promised would go to my laptop and she bought a kitten which poops everywhere and i clean it up i just don't know how i ended up doing everything and no one helping and when i say something to Venti he tells me to tell my mom and when i tell my mom she gives me this hole we give you everything and you can even do a little cleaning for us and she tells me i cant tell her how to run her house, but if i didn't clean it would be just disgusting, i mean rotting food, pizza boxes, rotting dipers, cat poo everywhere just not humane, not safe for four adults and especial for a two year old and two cats, hear is a list of what i did today and got nothing for, keep in mind that i am not refusing to do anything, i don't mind cleaning but no one helps me, ever, this is just stuff i cleaned not stuff i did for myself.

1- filled the dishwasher and washed what wouldn't fit in it by hand,

2- filled a large black trash bag full of trash,

3- vacuumed the carpet,

4- moped the hardwood and stares and tile in the bathroom and kitchen,

5- feed my moms evil cat and the other cat,

6- washed windows,

7- scrubed the stove and fridge and dishwasher and microwave and sink,

9- cleaned the bathroom,

10- washed towels,

11- watter the x-mas tree,

12 dusted,

13- cleaned the TV and stereo and speakers,

14 tried to fix a few small things (broken tree ornaments, broken basement lock and doorknob)

that's most of the big stuff,
and then Venti comes home and i get the groceries out of the trunk and put them away because Grande is on the computer and cant help do anything,
and then new cat poops all over the place while we are watching the apprentice and after they let Short trash the living room i just cleaned there like go switch the towels into the dryer, help us clean cat poop,
and they never make Grande do anything, one in a while they will make him take a shower or feed the cats but or change a diaper but that's it,
like i said I'm not thinking i shouldn't have to do anything but i do just a little bit much considering i don't get any money or anything for it,

i have been looking for a job despite what my mom tells you, she thinks it easy to find a job in a town where every store is famous and has a job waiting list!

so has she always been like this, is this normal , i want more than anything to get my car running good and to get a job and a license so that i never have to be here!

what have you been doing? having fun and partying i hope!
will you be coming out here anytime?

if you see Michelle around tell her i said hi,

bye!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuugh. There is SO MUCH bullshit in this email I don't even know where to start or what to say??? How about cry? That seems to be the only thing that would work right now.

(insert crying sounds here)

God - what lies, what outright ungratefulness, and what the hell am I supposed to do - just let my ex believe all this shit is true when it's not???? I really, really did not need this. Oh - but I guess that's just me being "the way I am." Is that fucking NORMAL??????

Christ.