Chronogram - Bush for President: "However, I actually feel it's important that Bush be in the White House for the next four years (likely fewer) so that when the web of lies and crimes finally falls apart, he and his people are standing there holding the bag. If there is going to be any kind of national healing that comes in the wake of everything we've witnessed since the stolen election of 2000, the highly convenient September 11th 'intelligence failures,' and the resulting fraudulent wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the resolution needs to happen in a visible way in which the people who are actually responsible are the ones held accountable.
Essentially, if Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and others clear out of Washington and head back to their posh corporate jobs and million-acre ranches, they got away with it.
We will lose an opportunity to bring the karma of what has happened to some kind of closure. We will lose an opportunity to take responsibility for allowing them to do what they did. We will lose an opportunity to face the effects of our mistakes and disinterest in politics and of our compulsion to believe lies. And those people who have ardently supported Bush and Cheney and their policies will lose an opportunity to watch - and feel - what happens when the lid is pulled off their scam. I have every faith that there will be reckoning, but only if Bush takes office again."
Friday, December 31, 2004
Knock it off!! I'm protected be-atch!
I got a reminder from my Yahoo! calendar yesterday about a class at Esoterica, a great little store in town. I could live in this store and not just because it always smells like sandalwood or sage, but because it feels very much like 'home' should feel.
The class reminder was a part of a series of classes and unfortunately I missed the first two, however, I called and of course it was no problem to sign up for it giving only 3 hours notice. (I love those people.) Since I was having a major panic attack all day (which is why I'm still awake) I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle being at a class full of people I didn't know for 3 whole hours. Venti drove me and we sat outside of the store (hot damn, we got a parking space on the street and didn't have to use the stupid garage.) When I say we sat outside of the store, I mean - for like 25 minutes.
Should I go? Shouldn't I? Am I too anxious or can I manage to pull this off? My anxiety increased the longer I sat there, chainsmoking and worrying so eventually - at 10 of, I asked Venti to go in with me just for a second - at least until I paid for the class. (Five bucks.) Kind of like a 'fuck it' attitude. I figured if I was going to be panicking all fucking night anyway, I might as well be doing something interesting at the same time.
Thank God Venti did go inside with me - they don't take plastic for anything under $15 and he had the cash. Thinking back, duh - I could have written a check. Anyway, he left right after that and I was going to wander around looking at crystals, statues, clothing, stones, books, etc., but instead I spotted a guy I'd spoken with the last time I was at the store, his name is Ron.
Ron and I stood outside and smoked and talked about his e-book about sex, handwriting analysis and my panic attacks until 7:30 (which was when the class actually started.) I told Ron, who reminds me so much of my dad - in personality, not appearance - that if I panicked during the class I was going to find him and he could maybe help me out. He laughed and said I'd be fine.
The class consisted of eight people, plus the instructor - who also happened to be my Reiki Master (the chick who taught me Reiki.) It was a bit bigger of a class than she (or I) had anticipated and so I made sure to sit right by the exit of the gazebo/classroom so I could bolt out into the store if I had a panic attack.
You should know that I am Wiccan, which makes me a witch (think what you will.) The class description was this...
So, as I said earlier, I was panicking the entire time we were learning about protective magick. I even wrote in my BoS - between "Burning candle down to water level..." and "Symbols I pressed into my amulet" DEAR UNIVERSE PLEASE TAKE THIS PANIC ATTACK AWAY. At one point, I bolted from my seat and went out into the store and there stood Ron, thank God. I said, "I can't do it, I'm panicking - can you tell?" He said not in my body, but in my eyes. So I took a deep breath, smiled, and went back in. At that point it was time to make the amulet out of this weird but really cool clay that stays soft until you bake it in an oven - or in this case, a toaster oven, for fifteen minutes. I made mine in the shape of a triangle with the Cho Ku Rei symbol on one side, and my personal symbol on the other. (It's a secret.) Before I shaped it, I mashed up Rosemary, Sage and Mugwort and kneaded it into the clay for more protective properties, punched a hole through it, gave it to Reiki Decaf, and jacks-a-donut, fifteen minutes later I had my amulet. I must say it's pretty cool.
While I was waiting for it to bake, I asked Reiki Decaf if it would be okay if I went and got a drink - she invited everyone to do the same thing, thank God. I took a xanax and hoped that because I hadn't eaten, it would work a helluva lot faster than usual - which, not surprisingly, it did. So - by the end of the evening, I had my amulet and I was oh-so-very mellow. How the FUCK come I couldn't be mellow enough to enjoy the class until it was over? UGH. At least I got printed out notes to take home so I could learn whatever I missed when I ran out of the gazebo panicking.
So, I'm going to next weeks workshop, too. That one ought to be really cool as well, and still - only five bucks.
I panicked all day because it was the 4th year anniversary of my dad passing away quite suddenly, without warning, out of the blue, in his sleep. Very traumatic. I miss my dad. A lot.
The class reminder was a part of a series of classes and unfortunately I missed the first two, however, I called and of course it was no problem to sign up for it giving only 3 hours notice. (I love those people.) Since I was having a major panic attack all day (which is why I'm still awake) I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle being at a class full of people I didn't know for 3 whole hours. Venti drove me and we sat outside of the store (hot damn, we got a parking space on the street and didn't have to use the stupid garage.) When I say we sat outside of the store, I mean - for like 25 minutes.
Should I go? Shouldn't I? Am I too anxious or can I manage to pull this off? My anxiety increased the longer I sat there, chainsmoking and worrying so eventually - at 10 of, I asked Venti to go in with me just for a second - at least until I paid for the class. (Five bucks.) Kind of like a 'fuck it' attitude. I figured if I was going to be panicking all fucking night anyway, I might as well be doing something interesting at the same time.
Thank God Venti did go inside with me - they don't take plastic for anything under $15 and he had the cash. Thinking back, duh - I could have written a check. Anyway, he left right after that and I was going to wander around looking at crystals, statues, clothing, stones, books, etc., but instead I spotted a guy I'd spoken with the last time I was at the store, his name is Ron.
Ron and I stood outside and smoked and talked about his e-book about sex, handwriting analysis and my panic attacks until 7:30 (which was when the class actually started.) I told Ron, who reminds me so much of my dad - in personality, not appearance - that if I panicked during the class I was going to find him and he could maybe help me out. He laughed and said I'd be fine.
The class consisted of eight people, plus the instructor - who also happened to be my Reiki Master (the chick who taught me Reiki.) It was a bit bigger of a class than she (or I) had anticipated and so I made sure to sit right by the exit of the gazebo/classroom so I could bolt out into the store if I had a panic attack.
You should know that I am Wiccan, which makes me a witch (think what you will.) The class description was this...
Magickal ProtectionI brought my brand spankin new BoS because I was NOT going to show up with a fucking legal pad and look like a dork. I've been Wiccan since 1997 and to not have a Book of Shadows is utterly ridiculous - so I emailed Venti at work and asked him to stop at Borders and pick up a big-ass black cloth-covered journal for me. Lined, of course. (He scored big, got me THE one I wanted for $6.)
Learn the different types of magickal protection as well as which
herbs, stones, candles, spells and amulets are recommended for
magickal protection. We will make a protective amulet during class.
Please bring a notebook or your BOS and something to write with. Class
is $5.00 per person.
So, as I said earlier, I was panicking the entire time we were learning about protective magick. I even wrote in my BoS - between "Burning candle down to water level..." and "Symbols I pressed into my amulet" DEAR UNIVERSE PLEASE TAKE THIS PANIC ATTACK AWAY. At one point, I bolted from my seat and went out into the store and there stood Ron, thank God. I said, "I can't do it, I'm panicking - can you tell?" He said not in my body, but in my eyes. So I took a deep breath, smiled, and went back in. At that point it was time to make the amulet out of this weird but really cool clay that stays soft until you bake it in an oven - or in this case, a toaster oven, for fifteen minutes. I made mine in the shape of a triangle with the Cho Ku Rei symbol on one side, and my personal symbol on the other. (It's a secret.) Before I shaped it, I mashed up Rosemary, Sage and Mugwort and kneaded it into the clay for more protective properties, punched a hole through it, gave it to Reiki Decaf, and jacks-a-donut, fifteen minutes later I had my amulet. I must say it's pretty cool.
While I was waiting for it to bake, I asked Reiki Decaf if it would be okay if I went and got a drink - she invited everyone to do the same thing, thank God. I took a xanax and hoped that because I hadn't eaten, it would work a helluva lot faster than usual - which, not surprisingly, it did. So - by the end of the evening, I had my amulet and I was oh-so-very mellow. How the FUCK come I couldn't be mellow enough to enjoy the class until it was over? UGH. At least I got printed out notes to take home so I could learn whatever I missed when I ran out of the gazebo panicking.
So, I'm going to next weeks workshop, too. That one ought to be really cool as well, and still - only five bucks.
Psychic EnhancementNow - that's going to be a REALLY rough one to make it to but I know I can pull it off. I have to drive for 2 ½ hours for a 10 A.M. court thing that only lasts ½ an hour, then drive the 2½ hours back home. I will NOT be a panicking mess for that class. If anything, I'll be a panicking mess for the court thing.
Gain the knowledge and practice the skills that can enhance your
psychic ability. We will discuss the various types of psychic ability
as well as do some practical application exercises. Please bring a
notebook or your BOS and something to write with. Class is $5.00 per
person.
I panicked all day because it was the 4th year anniversary of my dad passing away quite suddenly, without warning, out of the blue, in his sleep. Very traumatic. I miss my dad. A lot.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Great Scene from "Garden State"
I love the TV show Scrubs, mostly the main guy - Dr. Dorian (sp?) and his mentor, the manic dude with the curly blonde hair - he's my favorite, fucking hilarious. ANYWAY, Zach Braff is the main guy and he wrote and directed a movie called Garden State which was pretty fucking excellent, I just watched it tonight.
I took the time to write out one of the scenes where he and Natalie Portman are in a pool having a conversation because he can't swim...
No. Fucking. Shit. Bravo. Well said. Kudos. And the award goes to...Zach Braff.
Venti and I liked that scene a lot. For me it just so perfectly described how I feel in my life right now - or have for years and years. I could identify with his character pretty well, too - being so fogged up on antidepressants and tranquilizers that you can't feel anything at all anymore - not even pain.
I took the time to write out one of the scenes where he and Natalie Portman are in a pool having a conversation because he can't swim...
You know that point in your life that you realize that the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though have someplace you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
(she says - "I still feel at home in my house.")
You'll see one day when you move out - it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. It's like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist.
I mean, it's like this rite of passage - you know? You won't ever have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know - for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea.
You know, maybe that's all family really is...group of people that miss the same imaginary place.
No. Fucking. Shit. Bravo. Well said. Kudos. And the award goes to...Zach Braff.
Venti and I liked that scene a lot. For me it just so perfectly described how I feel in my life right now - or have for years and years. I could identify with his character pretty well, too - being so fogged up on antidepressants and tranquilizers that you can't feel anything at all anymore - not even pain.
Friday, December 24, 2004
It's Chrimmas
Well, it's officially Christmas - I think that's pretty awesome - however, don't seem to be as thrilled. My husband's (Venti) last blog entry was "I Hate All Holidays." and my good friend's last post was "Shove Your Holidays Up Your Ass" - so I think I'm in the minority.
I'm extremely excited to know that in about 8 hours I'll wake up and get to see how excited my kids are about their presents, I love all of it and plan to take a ton of pictures. No grinch here.
I still have to move a giant Spongebob balloon downstairs and also try to figure out how to wrap a filled aquarium, and although it's very small - it's already filled with water, gravel and of course - fish. I hope there aren't any floaters tomorrow. "Merry Christmas, your fish is dead." Not a good present for a 2 year old, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. So far they seem to be pretty hardy little dudes.
I'm all about Christmas...so bring it on...
I'm extremely excited to know that in about 8 hours I'll wake up and get to see how excited my kids are about their presents, I love all of it and plan to take a ton of pictures. No grinch here.
I still have to move a giant Spongebob balloon downstairs and also try to figure out how to wrap a filled aquarium, and although it's very small - it's already filled with water, gravel and of course - fish. I hope there aren't any floaters tomorrow. "Merry Christmas, your fish is dead." Not a good present for a 2 year old, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. So far they seem to be pretty hardy little dudes.
I'm all about Christmas...so bring it on...
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
What Is It About This Cereal?
I know I'm bored but is that any excuse to be sitting here thinking about how much my bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats looks like horsefeed? We used to buy stuff that looked exactly like this in giant 100 pound sacks for our horses when I was a kid, and now here I am, 30 years later - eating the stuff? There's just something disturbing about it, I think I need to go back to Lucky Charms.
I went to a website today where you make these plans to meet with other people who share your interests. I couldn't find anyone in my area so I made a new group for people with panic attacks who live in my town. It surely would be nice if someone actually joined the damn thing. Even one or two people would be great. I always thought that a support group for people with panic attacks and agoraphobia was quite ironic considering that agoraphobic people can't leave their homes without a 'safe person' - if at all, people with social anxiety have difficulty making a phone call - so how the hell does anyone GET to the meeting? It's kind of funny if you think about it. Anyway, I adjusted the group meeting place a bit at the website and said that we'd meet online first to figure out how to handle the meeting in real life issue. I think that will work. Now I just have to promote it and get people to join and TALK TO ME!!!!
You watch...Dave says our date for moving is September 1st - I'll bet you any amount of money I find some incredibly nice person with severe panic and agoraphobia who lives like, a block from my house, we'll become best friends and then our family will have to move. That- that right there is my luck.
Oh, MAN did my doctor piss me off today. I truly believe that physicians get kickbacks of some sort for prescribing certain medicines, and here's why. I felt a cold sore developing on my lip and I do NOT want a cold sore for Christmas, no way - they are nasty. So, I called my doctor's office and asked the front desk chick if my doctor could just call something into the pharmacy or did I have to go in for a visit? She said she'd see what she could do, and that my doctor was getting ready to walk out the door so she had to hurry. I called my pharmacy a few hours later and asked if there was a prescription for me, there was. I asked what it was, Valtrex.
VALTREX??? If you've watched TV in the last year you've seen the commercials for this medicine - the one where the chick has GENITAL herpes and is all happy, riding a bike, swinging on a swing, swimming and getting all rammy with a guy in the ocean? Yeah - THAT'S what she prescribed to me for a fucking cold sore. I read the list of side effects - no fucking way. All I wanted was the same goddamn cream that everyone in the world gets prescribed for them for cold sores - that shit really works, and ONLY on the cold sore - not throughout your entire system, and there's not a pound of paper's worth of side effects or warnings either.
I was so pissed. Anyway, why would she prescribe that? Why not prescribe the one that does NOT cost $230 for a typical course of treatment? The stuff I wanted and had before - which worked - costs $40. I have insurance so THAT would have been ten bucks, but the stuff she called in would have been a $35 copay. Yeah, she's sure as hell getting kickbacks of some sort. That just makes me sick.
Doesn't ALL of the advertising shit in your doctor's office just piss you off? You might not be getting the best medicine, just the most-heavily pushed by the pharmaceutical reps medicine. You sign in with a Lexapro pen, you weigh in on a Zocor scale, there are pharmaceutical calendars, clocks, note pads, and even exam table covers - it's everywhere! I think there ought to be a fucking law against that shit. When I went to see my panic doctor, he had a really nice clock on his desk...Upon further inspection I noticed it said "Xanax XR" on it...guess what he prescribed to me? Xanax XR. Yeah, like he's not getting SOMETHING out of that. Right.
Anyway, so now I've got two little cold sores that I'm treating with $15 Abreva (non prescription) and I hope, I hope, I HOPE these damn things don't get all nasty looking because I was HOPING to take some Christmas pictures with my kids. That would have been nice.
Speaking of Christmas...It's now officially December 22nd. I quietly celebrated the solstice with a nod to the Universe and a moment of peaceful reflection. I am SO excited about Christmas Eve in 3 days ... We're going to watch movies, get silly, and eat shrimp - and then the big day - watching the kids open their presents...Little baby short decaf having his second Christmas and maybe being a bit more aware of what's going on...Giving the cat a gift of a mid sized cardboard box to lay in (he'll LOVE it, trust me.) I love, love, LOVE Christmas mornings with the kids!!
And did you ever wonder if there's a correlation between the fact that the Winter Solstice is so damn close to Christmas? I think I read something about that in the Da Vinci Code - I really need to read that book again. Except - I need the new version that's out this year, the one with the photos and more illustrations...I MUST HAVE IT!!!
So this is me blathering...woohoo...only one more day of school for tall decaf and then he's off of school for two weeks...Venti (hubby) is off for several days and I'll get to see grande decaf, too! I love that it's Christmas. Or solstice. Or whatever the hell you want to call it - I'm just so thrilled to be seeing my kids and my sister ... I can't wait. :)
Off to bed now in hopes that it will make it seem as though the time is flying by....
I went to a website today where you make these plans to meet with other people who share your interests. I couldn't find anyone in my area so I made a new group for people with panic attacks who live in my town. It surely would be nice if someone actually joined the damn thing. Even one or two people would be great. I always thought that a support group for people with panic attacks and agoraphobia was quite ironic considering that agoraphobic people can't leave their homes without a 'safe person' - if at all, people with social anxiety have difficulty making a phone call - so how the hell does anyone GET to the meeting? It's kind of funny if you think about it. Anyway, I adjusted the group meeting place a bit at the website and said that we'd meet online first to figure out how to handle the meeting in real life issue. I think that will work. Now I just have to promote it and get people to join and TALK TO ME!!!!
You watch...Dave says our date for moving is September 1st - I'll bet you any amount of money I find some incredibly nice person with severe panic and agoraphobia who lives like, a block from my house, we'll become best friends and then our family will have to move. That- that right there is my luck.
Oh, MAN did my doctor piss me off today. I truly believe that physicians get kickbacks of some sort for prescribing certain medicines, and here's why. I felt a cold sore developing on my lip and I do NOT want a cold sore for Christmas, no way - they are nasty. So, I called my doctor's office and asked the front desk chick if my doctor could just call something into the pharmacy or did I have to go in for a visit? She said she'd see what she could do, and that my doctor was getting ready to walk out the door so she had to hurry. I called my pharmacy a few hours later and asked if there was a prescription for me, there was. I asked what it was, Valtrex.
VALTREX??? If you've watched TV in the last year you've seen the commercials for this medicine - the one where the chick has GENITAL herpes and is all happy, riding a bike, swinging on a swing, swimming and getting all rammy with a guy in the ocean? Yeah - THAT'S what she prescribed to me for a fucking cold sore. I read the list of side effects - no fucking way. All I wanted was the same goddamn cream that everyone in the world gets prescribed for them for cold sores - that shit really works, and ONLY on the cold sore - not throughout your entire system, and there's not a pound of paper's worth of side effects or warnings either.
I was so pissed. Anyway, why would she prescribe that? Why not prescribe the one that does NOT cost $230 for a typical course of treatment? The stuff I wanted and had before - which worked - costs $40. I have insurance so THAT would have been ten bucks, but the stuff she called in would have been a $35 copay. Yeah, she's sure as hell getting kickbacks of some sort. That just makes me sick.
Doesn't ALL of the advertising shit in your doctor's office just piss you off? You might not be getting the best medicine, just the most-heavily pushed by the pharmaceutical reps medicine. You sign in with a Lexapro pen, you weigh in on a Zocor scale, there are pharmaceutical calendars, clocks, note pads, and even exam table covers - it's everywhere! I think there ought to be a fucking law against that shit. When I went to see my panic doctor, he had a really nice clock on his desk...Upon further inspection I noticed it said "Xanax XR" on it...guess what he prescribed to me? Xanax XR. Yeah, like he's not getting SOMETHING out of that. Right.
Anyway, so now I've got two little cold sores that I'm treating with $15 Abreva (non prescription) and I hope, I hope, I HOPE these damn things don't get all nasty looking because I was HOPING to take some Christmas pictures with my kids. That would have been nice.
Speaking of Christmas...It's now officially December 22nd. I quietly celebrated the solstice with a nod to the Universe and a moment of peaceful reflection. I am SO excited about Christmas Eve in 3 days ... We're going to watch movies, get silly, and eat shrimp - and then the big day - watching the kids open their presents...Little baby short decaf having his second Christmas and maybe being a bit more aware of what's going on...Giving the cat a gift of a mid sized cardboard box to lay in (he'll LOVE it, trust me.) I love, love, LOVE Christmas mornings with the kids!!
And did you ever wonder if there's a correlation between the fact that the Winter Solstice is so damn close to Christmas? I think I read something about that in the Da Vinci Code - I really need to read that book again. Except - I need the new version that's out this year, the one with the photos and more illustrations...I MUST HAVE IT!!!
So this is me blathering...woohoo...only one more day of school for tall decaf and then he's off of school for two weeks...Venti (hubby) is off for several days and I'll get to see grande decaf, too! I love that it's Christmas. Or solstice. Or whatever the hell you want to call it - I'm just so thrilled to be seeing my kids and my sister ... I can't wait. :)
Off to bed now in hopes that it will make it seem as though the time is flying by....
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE -- Background Page
This website is SO all about me...
HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE -- Background Page: "Highly sensitive individuals have often said they feel they are 'different' and just don't fit in; we've even heard HSP say they sometimes feel like they are from a different planet. "
HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE -- Background Page: "Highly sensitive individuals have often said they feel they are 'different' and just don't fit in; we've even heard HSP say they sometimes feel like they are from a different planet. "
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Rantscribe
Rantscribe: "Tolerance? The mere fact that anyone chooses a religion above another and then regards all the others as incorrect and that those sinners will go to hell means that ANY religious person cannot be tolerant. Agnosticism is the only tolerant choice. We neither deny nor accept any relgion. Frankly religion is a waste of my powers of logic and reason. It is totally inconclusive and therefore not worth thinking about. Yet, just as these Deliverers, as they call themselves, have a God-given right to indoctrinate recruits, so too do I have my own Me-given right to recruit people to my way of thinking. This persecution complex must stop. I do not cry like a school girl if my beliefs are countered. In fact, I cannot recall A SINGLE PERSON even attempting to counter agnosticism. Funny that. And I don't mean counter it with Christianity. I mean try and have a metaphysical and philosophical argument to counter it. Christianity and religion are ALWAYS argued against from all sides, including science.
I posted previously the negative correlation between intelligence and religiosity. I'm sorry but intellectual people are not religious. Less intelligent people are. It's that bleeding simple (although there are of course exceptions to the mean - lest I insult anyone). And although I do pity the dim-witted, I also enjoy the fact that my intellectual superiority enables me to toy with them. Cruel, perhaps, to attempt a battle of wits with an unarmed person, but it is my right. I am higher up on the intellectual food chain, which means I can toy with and then consume whichever lowly organism is below me. Just like you eat cows, pigs, sheep, vegetables, fish etc. Yes, it is an arrogant point of view I agree, but it is simply a fact of life. I am selfish and arrogant. I can do it because I can. And I am very happy and content with that."
I posted previously the negative correlation between intelligence and religiosity. I'm sorry but intellectual people are not religious. Less intelligent people are. It's that bleeding simple (although there are of course exceptions to the mean - lest I insult anyone). And although I do pity the dim-witted, I also enjoy the fact that my intellectual superiority enables me to toy with them. Cruel, perhaps, to attempt a battle of wits with an unarmed person, but it is my right. I am higher up on the intellectual food chain, which means I can toy with and then consume whichever lowly organism is below me. Just like you eat cows, pigs, sheep, vegetables, fish etc. Yes, it is an arrogant point of view I agree, but it is simply a fact of life. I am selfish and arrogant. I can do it because I can. And I am very happy and content with that."
glassdog: "Silent night, deadly night"
glassdog: "Silent night, deadly night"
Because I had absolutely nothing else to do, I did an anagram search on the phone number people are to use to get a refund for that evening's performance. Since it was already 704-54GLORY, I could only make it into some ill glory - 704-IL-GLORY.
Their website at http://crystalcathedral.org/ also mentions that they offer Professional Counseling Services. I guess it wasn't a perk the guy got for working there for thirty years.
I'm loopy, it's late.
Because I had absolutely nothing else to do, I did an anagram search on the phone number people are to use to get a refund for that evening's performance. Since it was already 704-54GLORY, I could only make it into some ill glory - 704-IL-GLORY.
Their website at http://crystalcathedral.org/ also mentions that they offer Professional Counseling Services. I guess it wasn't a perk the guy got for working there for thirty years.
I'm loopy, it's late.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
100 Things
I know everyone does this and everyone thinks it's lame, but I'm bored and need to waste a few hours...
100 Things About me
(was 50 Things About Me)
1. I love stationary - post-its, pens, paper clips, note pads, all of it.
2. Illuminations is my favorite store but I can't afford anything there. (Candles.)
3. I smoke. (If you have anything to say about that, fuck off.)
4. I love spirals.
5. If I could choose a state to live in it would most likely Maine.
6. I stay up until 4am and wake up at noon.
7. Nobody has made me a pot of coffee in over a year.
8. I gave up caffeine, but not coffee (went to decaf) in August of 2003.
9. There are (basically) 8 windows in my 3 bedroom house.
10. I don't know my neighbors names, except for one guy. (200+ houses in my development.)
11. I've written a novel.
12. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
13. I don't have a single real life friend.
14. I constantly wish I could close my eyes and open them up and be 15 again.
15. I hate, with a passion, tan carpet. I had dark dark blue carpet once, that was cool.
16. I need to hear SOMETHING at night; a fan, any sort of white noise, otherwise I can't sleep.
17. I hate being hot, I hate living in places that are hot, a tropical vacation sounds like hell to me.
18. I have attempted to figure out how to become anorexic to no avail.
19. I love Trivial Pursuit but nobody plays it anymore.
20. I like non-fiction, especially historical books.
21. I believe in reincarnation.
22. 22 is my husband's favorite number, but mine isn't. Mine is 25.
23. I've been married twice. I was pregnant both times.
24. As much as I use my computer, I generally don't like computers anymore.
25. I picked my son's name from a character in the movie Armageddon. (AJ)
26. Because I think Ben Affleck is cute.
27. I don't like my cat anymore.
28. Sometimes I wish I had a small dog.
29. I don't know what my favorite color is.
30. I do know my favorite flower; daisy.
31. My favorite female actress is Drew Barrymore but Jennifer Garner is edging her out.
32. I own, and use, tarot cards.
33. I generally hate nuts except for almonds and macadamias.
34. I am a registered Republican who voted a straight Democratic ticket in 2002 and 2004.
35. I have really awful panic attacks and am agoraphobic.
36. I type about 90wpm.
37. It annoys me when people use 'good' when they should use 'well', or spell things wrong.
38. My favorite TV show is The West Wing. My vastly different 2nd fave? The Swan.
39. Josh Lyman's character perfectly exemplifies the man I 'knew' I'd marry when I was younger.
40. Sometimes I lay awake at night and think about how stupid the people on The Apprentice have been and what I would have done differently.
41. I have overcome a serious addiction to an online RPG called Everquest.
42. I wish my bedroom was painted the color "eggplant." Just once.
43. My favorite cookies are molasses cookies.
44. I finally memorized my cellphone number.
45. I don't drink often, (like once a year) but when I do, I like sour drinks like margaritas and sweet & sours.
46. I hate miniblinds.
47. I really hate my dishes but I really love my glasses.
48. I don't have a favorite holiday - my kids birthdays make up for that, those are great.
49. I moderate 3 very active message boards.
50. I have six email addresses that I actually use.
51. I generally don't like any robots except that little disk shaped vacuum cleaner. Roomba I think it is.
52. I hate Nascar and anything related to Nascar such as flags, lawn ornaments, commercials, the race themselves.
53. I think Tiger Woods is awesome and I absolutely love playing golf, although the best score I've ever gotten on an 18 hole course was 101 - and it's been more than four years since I played.
54. Did I do favorite ice cream yet? Not sure. However, it would be chocolate marshamallow, eaten with those big fat hard pretzels. Weird. I know.
55. I once worked in a sewing factory. (To balance that out, I also worked in an Environmental Consultant Company.)
56. If I go to a fast food place it's Taco Bell and I order the 1 Burrito Supreme, 1 Taco Supreme meal.
57. If I have a choice of where to go for a nice dinner out, it would be Dave's Famous BBQ. I know - that's not "nice" - but the food is fucking awesome.
58. I think vegetarians are weird. We are supposed to eat meat, not wheat.
59. The most I've ever won on a lottery ticket is $85 on a trip to the beach when I REALLY needed it so I could party more.
60. The last movie I rented was Collatoral which I didn't really like.
61. Movies I could watch over and over again include: Dogma, 13 going on 30, the FIRST Matrix, First Wives Club, House of Sand and Fog, Until There Was You, and - embarassingly, Miss Congeniality.
62. Movies that should be removed from existence: Matrix Revolutions. Period. Way to fuck up a perfectly awesome movie, assholes.
63. I own 144 high quality prints of the Metropolitan Museums of New Yorks idea of "the greatest paintings ever." They are like a secret pride and joy of mine.
64. I love M.C. Escher's work.
65. I had a Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox when I was a kid.
66. Best books: The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown), Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy (Complete Collection), The Day the Universe Changed (James Burke - a new favorite but an old book), Ancient Mysteries (by Peter James and Nick Thorpe,) A History of Knowledge: Past, Present and Future, (by Charles Van Doren )
67. Slowest book I've recently read...The Tipping Point.
68. Favorite beer, I'm not sure of the name but it's dark beer and only served (AFAIK) in a pub on Bainbridge Island, Washington. If I have to pick a local beer it would be Sam Adams.
69. I've never broken a bone.
70. I've never had a speeding ticket, or moving violation of any type.
71. I do not have a dream car.
72. My favorite sport is people-watching.
73. My least favorite sport is a tie between basketball and baseball (to watch, playing is cool.)
74. I know all the words to the song "Across the Universe" from the Beatles.
75. My thermostat is set at 65º
76. I prefer a small real tree for Christmas but for practicality reasons, would like to buy an artificial one.
77. I only ever had two wisdom teeth and I just got them removed. It didn't hurt like I thought it would.
78. I hate tiny cell phones.
79. I'm convinced that my husband is getting sick of me and flirting with someone online.
80. The first boy I ever really kissed was named Steve Miller, it was outside of a church on a Wednesday night and I was 12.
81. There are 14 magnets on my refrigerator, three postcards, two pictures of my little boy, receipts that we haven't kept track of yet, and an order form for my sons yearbook.
82. I am addicted to www.shutterfly.com because I'm addicted to my digital camera.
83. My camera is a Olympus Camedia C-3000. It is a total battery sucker.
84. I cut my sons hair. I've also dyed it, bleached it, streaked it and spiked it for him as his mood has changed.
85. We go through a lot of gel in our home.
86. If I had could raid a clothing store it would probably be Lands End.
87. I have a serious addiction to buying my little boy cute pajamas off of EBay.
88. I am 33 years old.
89. I think ice-hocky is a moronic sport.
90. I'm the youngest of five siblings. 3 sisters and 1 brother. I'm the only one who speaks to most of them, except my brother because he's an asshole.
91. I have 2 black leather Coach purses and I hate the Coach Signature line of purses. Mine are not that line.
92. I make the worlds best pumpkin roll, pumpkin pie, and fudge. IMHO.
93. I desperately want a heart shaped keychain from Tiffany's with my initials on it, from their "Return To" collection.
94. My least favorite chore is doing laundry, but oddly enough I actually enjoy folding it.
95. The only tools I own are a hammer and a box of nails.
96. I really, really wish every light switch in my house was one of those sliding dimmer switch types.
97. There are six sets of stairs in my home if you count the landings as beginning a new set.
98. I've owned several cats named Fluffy. All of them were.
99. I once had a therapist who was a Creationist and I asked him how the hell can you be a scientist, an M.D.... AND a Creationist? He was a nice guy, did a great job getting me over a few phobias.
100. Finally getting to 100 is a huge relief because I was sick of trying to figure out things to type.
(was 50 Things About Me)
1. I love stationary - post-its, pens, paper clips, note pads, all of it.
2. Illuminations is my favorite store but I can't afford anything there. (Candles.)
3. I smoke. (If you have anything to say about that, fuck off.)
4. I love spirals.
5. If I could choose a state to live in it would most likely Maine.
6. I stay up until 4am and wake up at noon.
7. Nobody has made me a pot of coffee in over a year.
8. I gave up caffeine, but not coffee (went to decaf) in August of 2003.
9. There are (basically) 8 windows in my 3 bedroom house.
10. I don't know my neighbors names, except for one guy. (200+ houses in my development.)
11. I've written a novel.
12. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
13. I don't have a single real life friend.
14. I constantly wish I could close my eyes and open them up and be 15 again.
15. I hate, with a passion, tan carpet. I had dark dark blue carpet once, that was cool.
16. I need to hear SOMETHING at night; a fan, any sort of white noise, otherwise I can't sleep.
17. I hate being hot, I hate living in places that are hot, a tropical vacation sounds like hell to me.
18. I have attempted to figure out how to become anorexic to no avail.
19. I love Trivial Pursuit but nobody plays it anymore.
20. I like non-fiction, especially historical books.
21. I believe in reincarnation.
22. 22 is my husband's favorite number, but mine isn't. Mine is 25.
23. I've been married twice. I was pregnant both times.
24. As much as I use my computer, I generally don't like computers anymore.
25. I picked my son's name from a character in the movie Armageddon. (AJ)
26. Because I think Ben Affleck is cute.
27. I don't like my cat anymore.
28. Sometimes I wish I had a small dog.
29. I don't know what my favorite color is.
30. I do know my favorite flower; daisy.
31. My favorite female actress is Drew Barrymore but Jennifer Garner is edging her out.
32. I own, and use, tarot cards.
33. I generally hate nuts except for almonds and macadamias.
34. I am a registered Republican who voted a straight Democratic ticket in 2002 and 2004.
35. I have really awful panic attacks and am agoraphobic.
36. I type about 90wpm.
37. It annoys me when people use 'good' when they should use 'well', or spell things wrong.
38. My favorite TV show is The West Wing. My vastly different 2nd fave? The Swan.
39. Josh Lyman's character perfectly exemplifies the man I 'knew' I'd marry when I was younger.
40. Sometimes I lay awake at night and think about how stupid the people on The Apprentice have been and what I would have done differently.
41. I have overcome a serious addiction to an online RPG called Everquest.
42. I wish my bedroom was painted the color "eggplant." Just once.
43. My favorite cookies are molasses cookies.
44. I finally memorized my cellphone number.
45. I don't drink often, (like once a year) but when I do, I like sour drinks like margaritas and sweet & sours.
46. I hate miniblinds.
47. I really hate my dishes but I really love my glasses.
48. I don't have a favorite holiday - my kids birthdays make up for that, those are great.
49. I moderate 3 very active message boards.
50. I have six email addresses that I actually use.
51. I generally don't like any robots except that little disk shaped vacuum cleaner. Roomba I think it is.
52. I hate Nascar and anything related to Nascar such as flags, lawn ornaments, commercials, the race themselves.
53. I think Tiger Woods is awesome and I absolutely love playing golf, although the best score I've ever gotten on an 18 hole course was 101 - and it's been more than four years since I played.
54. Did I do favorite ice cream yet? Not sure. However, it would be chocolate marshamallow, eaten with those big fat hard pretzels. Weird. I know.
55. I once worked in a sewing factory. (To balance that out, I also worked in an Environmental Consultant Company.)
56. If I go to a fast food place it's Taco Bell and I order the 1 Burrito Supreme, 1 Taco Supreme meal.
57. If I have a choice of where to go for a nice dinner out, it would be Dave's Famous BBQ. I know - that's not "nice" - but the food is fucking awesome.
58. I think vegetarians are weird. We are supposed to eat meat, not wheat.
59. The most I've ever won on a lottery ticket is $85 on a trip to the beach when I REALLY needed it so I could party more.
60. The last movie I rented was Collatoral which I didn't really like.
61. Movies I could watch over and over again include: Dogma, 13 going on 30, the FIRST Matrix, First Wives Club, House of Sand and Fog, Until There Was You, and - embarassingly, Miss Congeniality.
62. Movies that should be removed from existence: Matrix Revolutions. Period. Way to fuck up a perfectly awesome movie, assholes.
63. I own 144 high quality prints of the Metropolitan Museums of New Yorks idea of "the greatest paintings ever." They are like a secret pride and joy of mine.
64. I love M.C. Escher's work.
65. I had a Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox when I was a kid.
66. Best books: The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown), Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy (Complete Collection), The Day the Universe Changed (James Burke - a new favorite but an old book), Ancient Mysteries (by Peter James and Nick Thorpe,) A History of Knowledge: Past, Present and Future, (by Charles Van Doren )
67. Slowest book I've recently read...The Tipping Point.
68. Favorite beer, I'm not sure of the name but it's dark beer and only served (AFAIK) in a pub on Bainbridge Island, Washington. If I have to pick a local beer it would be Sam Adams.
69. I've never broken a bone.
70. I've never had a speeding ticket, or moving violation of any type.
71. I do not have a dream car.
72. My favorite sport is people-watching.
73. My least favorite sport is a tie between basketball and baseball (to watch, playing is cool.)
74. I know all the words to the song "Across the Universe" from the Beatles.
75. My thermostat is set at 65º
76. I prefer a small real tree for Christmas but for practicality reasons, would like to buy an artificial one.
77. I only ever had two wisdom teeth and I just got them removed. It didn't hurt like I thought it would.
78. I hate tiny cell phones.
79. I'm convinced that my husband is getting sick of me and flirting with someone online.
80. The first boy I ever really kissed was named Steve Miller, it was outside of a church on a Wednesday night and I was 12.
81. There are 14 magnets on my refrigerator, three postcards, two pictures of my little boy, receipts that we haven't kept track of yet, and an order form for my sons yearbook.
82. I am addicted to www.shutterfly.com because I'm addicted to my digital camera.
83. My camera is a Olympus Camedia C-3000. It is a total battery sucker.
84. I cut my sons hair. I've also dyed it, bleached it, streaked it and spiked it for him as his mood has changed.
85. We go through a lot of gel in our home.
86. If I had could raid a clothing store it would probably be Lands End.
87. I have a serious addiction to buying my little boy cute pajamas off of EBay.
88. I am 33 years old.
89. I think ice-hocky is a moronic sport.
90. I'm the youngest of five siblings. 3 sisters and 1 brother. I'm the only one who speaks to most of them, except my brother because he's an asshole.
91. I have 2 black leather Coach purses and I hate the Coach Signature line of purses. Mine are not that line.
92. I make the worlds best pumpkin roll, pumpkin pie, and fudge. IMHO.
93. I desperately want a heart shaped keychain from Tiffany's with my initials on it, from their "Return To" collection.
94. My least favorite chore is doing laundry, but oddly enough I actually enjoy folding it.
95. The only tools I own are a hammer and a box of nails.
96. I really, really wish every light switch in my house was one of those sliding dimmer switch types.
97. There are six sets of stairs in my home if you count the landings as beginning a new set.
98. I've owned several cats named Fluffy. All of them were.
99. I once had a therapist who was a Creationist and I asked him how the hell can you be a scientist, an M.D.... AND a Creationist? He was a nice guy, did a great job getting me over a few phobias.
100. Finally getting to 100 is a huge relief because I was sick of trying to figure out things to type.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Is It Just Me or Does Christmas Suck a Bit More Every Year?
I am trying REAL hard to create an allusion that there's Christmas Spirit in this house, but it's just not working. When there's no money and no prospect of money coming in before Christmas it kind of puts a damper on the whole holiday for not just me, but everyone in the house. We didn't send out Christmas cards - and so far have only gotten one, an automatically generated corporate card from my sister who sells cars for a living. I bought a car through her once and now she'll never forget to send me a card because I'm on her list. Not because I'm her sister, but because I'm on her list...plus, her company pays for the postage.
There's no room in my house for Christmas, the tree that we picked out - while nice - is overwhelming my dining room. That's not a terrible thing considering that nobody can see that there aren't yet any presents under it.
I thought that two years ago Christmas sucked because there was a blizzard and my boys were 3 hours away with my ex because it was his turn to have them, so it was the first holiday I spent familyless. I remember staring out the window at the snow and thinking how badly it all just sucked not to see my kids or my mom and sisters.
We will be going to PA for Christmas dinner, so that's something. Nothing like taking a 3 hour drive on Christmas day - and I'm not sure if we're staying overnight or coming right back, if so - that's going to just suck even worse.
I want to see my oldest son for Christmas and I want my middle son to see his father's family for Christmas, but I had a really huge fight with my ex husband and ex mother-in-law because they said some absolutely terrible and untrue things about me to my oldest son, so I told them that in order for my middle son to see her (the ex MIL) it would have to be in some sort of supervised setting. I meant something along the lines of a restaurant or a mall, but I can't figure out how to pull that off because my ex husband should (SHOULD) be able to be supervision enough, but he's not, so I don't know what the fuck to do.
And here's a MAJOR FUCKING SHOUT OUT to all of you people who write to me with your QUICK HURRY UP AND ANSWER MY EMAIL BECAUSE I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! bullshit...
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DON'T EXPECT ME TO ANSWER ANYMORE OF YOUR FUCKING EMAILS!!!! I'm even going to post that on my website. I spend a minimum of 90 minutes a day and more likely 3 hours a day writing emails back to people with panic attack questions of varying degrees of urgency. They NEVER write a goddamned thank you. Never even let me know they got the fucking emails. I expend so much energy on them and you know what - fuck em all. I worked my ass off collecting the information for my website and I work my ass of to keep my knowledge of panic disorder and its treatments current FOR THEM - and for what? Not a goddamned thing in return. My inbox is ALWAYS empty of 'thank you's' - but full of "Please HELP ME!!!'s" Again. Fuck em. It feels like the last 8 years of keeping that website current has been a fucking void in my life I'll never be able to regain. And now I'm pissed off at everyone who writes to me and have actually even happily deleted a few emails without even responding, and you know what - it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Fuck them, and fuck them again. That's what they're doing to me isn't it?
God, to take my email address off of that website will take me forever...there's like 72 html files associated with. Fuck.
I'd like to say I've made some friends over the years because of it, but you know - the only friend I've ever made in association with the website is the guy who helped me learn HTML. Tens of thousands of emails and only one friend...albiet a good friend, but still??? WTF? People will sometimes email me back and forth - oh - four times tops, act interested in having a penpal type relationship, then suddenly just fucking stop writing or responding to my emails of "I haven't heard from you lately, is everything okay? How is your anxiety? I hope all is well...please let me know. I'm always here for you!! - Lisa"
Fuck em.
My advice for panic disorder can be found all over the web, I get thousands of visitors to my site every month, I have been told that I touch peoples lives....AND??? Where's the fuckin gratitude???
I'm sorry to sound so mean but it just pisses me off how much time and effort and emotion I've given away when all the while I'm still having issues with panic disorder and who's asking me 'I haven't heard from you lately, is everything okay? How is your anxiety? I hope all is well...please let me know." NOBODY.
I had come to the conclusion eons ago that people suck. I tried to fight it, argue with myself that it couldn't be true, challenge myself to find the good in people - the good people, always continuing to hold out hope that people truly didn't all just suck - but you know what? They pretty much all do.
I'm guessing a psychologist would tell me that I'm be dramatic or underestimating the people in the world - and 'have you MET everyone in the world?' kind of bullshit logic - but uhm, yeah - I've had a pretty fucking good sampling and it comes down to people in general being all about themselves.
Nobody gives anything away for free. There's always a catch. There are no truly honest, decent, moral people full of integrity out there - and I suppose I'm one of them considering how awful this post must sound. I just give up on the human race - we're fucking doomed with this egocentric attitude. If - IF - there are a few good people left on earth, we - or they - are being slowly converted to assholes by the rest of the world who are, indeed, a bunch of dicks.
There's no room in my house for Christmas, the tree that we picked out - while nice - is overwhelming my dining room. That's not a terrible thing considering that nobody can see that there aren't yet any presents under it.
I thought that two years ago Christmas sucked because there was a blizzard and my boys were 3 hours away with my ex because it was his turn to have them, so it was the first holiday I spent familyless. I remember staring out the window at the snow and thinking how badly it all just sucked not to see my kids or my mom and sisters.
We will be going to PA for Christmas dinner, so that's something. Nothing like taking a 3 hour drive on Christmas day - and I'm not sure if we're staying overnight or coming right back, if so - that's going to just suck even worse.
I want to see my oldest son for Christmas and I want my middle son to see his father's family for Christmas, but I had a really huge fight with my ex husband and ex mother-in-law because they said some absolutely terrible and untrue things about me to my oldest son, so I told them that in order for my middle son to see her (the ex MIL) it would have to be in some sort of supervised setting. I meant something along the lines of a restaurant or a mall, but I can't figure out how to pull that off because my ex husband should (SHOULD) be able to be supervision enough, but he's not, so I don't know what the fuck to do.
And here's a MAJOR FUCKING SHOUT OUT to all of you people who write to me with your QUICK HURRY UP AND ANSWER MY EMAIL BECAUSE I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! bullshit...
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DON'T EXPECT ME TO ANSWER ANYMORE OF YOUR FUCKING EMAILS!!!! I'm even going to post that on my website. I spend a minimum of 90 minutes a day and more likely 3 hours a day writing emails back to people with panic attack questions of varying degrees of urgency. They NEVER write a goddamned thank you. Never even let me know they got the fucking emails. I expend so much energy on them and you know what - fuck em all. I worked my ass off collecting the information for my website and I work my ass of to keep my knowledge of panic disorder and its treatments current FOR THEM - and for what? Not a goddamned thing in return. My inbox is ALWAYS empty of 'thank you's' - but full of "Please HELP ME!!!'s" Again. Fuck em. It feels like the last 8 years of keeping that website current has been a fucking void in my life I'll never be able to regain. And now I'm pissed off at everyone who writes to me and have actually even happily deleted a few emails without even responding, and you know what - it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Fuck them, and fuck them again. That's what they're doing to me isn't it?
God, to take my email address off of that website will take me forever...there's like 72 html files associated with. Fuck.
I'd like to say I've made some friends over the years because of it, but you know - the only friend I've ever made in association with the website is the guy who helped me learn HTML. Tens of thousands of emails and only one friend...albiet a good friend, but still??? WTF? People will sometimes email me back and forth - oh - four times tops, act interested in having a penpal type relationship, then suddenly just fucking stop writing or responding to my emails of "I haven't heard from you lately, is everything okay? How is your anxiety? I hope all is well...please let me know. I'm always here for you!! - Lisa"
Fuck em.
My advice for panic disorder can be found all over the web, I get thousands of visitors to my site every month, I have been told that I touch peoples lives....AND??? Where's the fuckin gratitude???
I'm sorry to sound so mean but it just pisses me off how much time and effort and emotion I've given away when all the while I'm still having issues with panic disorder and who's asking me 'I haven't heard from you lately, is everything okay? How is your anxiety? I hope all is well...please let me know." NOBODY.
I had come to the conclusion eons ago that people suck. I tried to fight it, argue with myself that it couldn't be true, challenge myself to find the good in people - the good people, always continuing to hold out hope that people truly didn't all just suck - but you know what? They pretty much all do.
I'm guessing a psychologist would tell me that I'm be dramatic or underestimating the people in the world - and 'have you MET everyone in the world?' kind of bullshit logic - but uhm, yeah - I've had a pretty fucking good sampling and it comes down to people in general being all about themselves.
Nobody gives anything away for free. There's always a catch. There are no truly honest, decent, moral people full of integrity out there - and I suppose I'm one of them considering how awful this post must sound. I just give up on the human race - we're fucking doomed with this egocentric attitude. If - IF - there are a few good people left on earth, we - or they - are being slowly converted to assholes by the rest of the world who are, indeed, a bunch of dicks.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Judicial Watch? What the hell?
What in the hell is a copy of the ten commandments on display in the Supreme Court for? How is that possible? Could someone get a Wiccan Creed on display there, I wonder.
Judicial Watch
Judicial Watch Files Brief Backing Display Of Ten Commandments
((SNIP))
“Judicial Watch is urging the Supreme Court to clarify the Establishment Clause so that lower courts and state and federal officials will have consistent constitutional principles they can follow,” said Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “The Ten Commandments provide one of the foundations of our legal system and even are displayed in the Supreme Court.”
Judicial Watch
Judicial Watch Files Brief Backing Display Of Ten Commandments
((SNIP))
“Judicial Watch is urging the Supreme Court to clarify the Establishment Clause so that lower courts and state and federal officials will have consistent constitutional principles they can follow,” said Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “The Ten Commandments provide one of the foundations of our legal system and even are displayed in the Supreme Court.”
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Ratfuck Diary: Values Boiled Down to Essentials
Ratfuck Diary: Values Boiled Down to Essentials
Read it all the way to the last paragraph...especially the last paragraph.
Read it all the way to the last paragraph...especially the last paragraph.
Monday, December 06, 2004
CNN.com - Frist: Abstinence-only programs need review - Dec 5, 2004
What the fuck part of any school program does "being faithful" belong in?? This just pisses me off. (Look for the bold in this post for what I'm refering to.) I've got two kids in school and damn, I just can't believe how - in a nation as "advanced" as ours - basic facts are allowed to be twisted in whatever manner a school wishes so that they are teaching what they feel is moral. Fuck it all. Maybe my husbands sister is right - every religion or non-religion should have a seperate school, send your kid there and if there isn't a school for your belief (We worship the Divine Tomato) then make one. I'd like to ask the country Christians to keep their filthy fucked up hands off of my kids, please - but what options do I have, really? Homeschooling? Hell, I'm not smart enough to do that, and I can't afford it either - damn it, I really should have taken Trig in high school. Who knew how bad skipping advanced math in 12th grade would hurt me today (got bumped down to general math because of my 'delicate condition' - pregnancy.)
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CNN.com - Frist: Abstinence-only programs need review - Dec 5, 2004: "WASHINGTON (AP) -- Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said Sunday that the government should review federally funded sexual abstinence programs, under fire from Democrats who say they contain false and misleading medical information.
The 'abstinence-only' programs, which get $170 million from Congress this year, teach children and teens the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage. By law, they are not allowed to discuss any benefits of birth control or condoms in preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
A report last week by Rep. Henry Waxman, D-California, found 11 of the 13 most widely used programs contain misinformation. He said they underestimate the effectiveness of condoms in preventing pregnancy and the spread of disease, exaggerate the prevalence of emotional and physical distress following abortion, blur science and religion or get fundamental scientific facts wrong.
Asked about these findings, Frist, a doctor who often calls on his medical expertise, did not directly address the issues raised. But he said the programs should be reviewed.
'Of course they should be reviewed,' Frist said Sunday on ABC's 'This Week' program. 'That's in part our responsibility to make sure that all of these programs are reviewed.'
He touted the benefits of a more comprehensive approach backed by President Bush in the global fight against AIDS called 'ABC' for abstinence, being faithful and use of condoms.
'Whether it's abstinence or whether it's a condom or whether it is ... washing hands in terms of the flu, all of these are public health challenges,' Frist said.
The Waxman report said one abstinence-only curricula incorrectly says that people can contract HIV through exposure to sweat and tears.
Asked if he thought that was true, Frist said it 'would be very hard' to transmit HIV through sweat and tears."
----
wow, "very hard" ... everything about this presidential term is "hard" - "hard work" - HARD must be THE buzzword for this administration. You know, you type the word hard enough times and it looks and sounds really stupid, like when you say 'fork' too many times, or "drawer". I'm still pissed that Kerry didn't win - and sometimes I fucking wonder if he was in on it.
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CNN.com - Frist: Abstinence-only programs need review - Dec 5, 2004: "WASHINGTON (AP) -- Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said Sunday that the government should review federally funded sexual abstinence programs, under fire from Democrats who say they contain false and misleading medical information.
The 'abstinence-only' programs, which get $170 million from Congress this year, teach children and teens the benefits of abstaining from sex until marriage. By law, they are not allowed to discuss any benefits of birth control or condoms in preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
A report last week by Rep. Henry Waxman, D-California, found 11 of the 13 most widely used programs contain misinformation. He said they underestimate the effectiveness of condoms in preventing pregnancy and the spread of disease, exaggerate the prevalence of emotional and physical distress following abortion, blur science and religion or get fundamental scientific facts wrong.
Asked about these findings, Frist, a doctor who often calls on his medical expertise, did not directly address the issues raised. But he said the programs should be reviewed.
'Of course they should be reviewed,' Frist said Sunday on ABC's 'This Week' program. 'That's in part our responsibility to make sure that all of these programs are reviewed.'
He touted the benefits of a more comprehensive approach backed by President Bush in the global fight against AIDS called 'ABC' for abstinence, being faithful and use of condoms.
'Whether it's abstinence or whether it's a condom or whether it is ... washing hands in terms of the flu, all of these are public health challenges,' Frist said.
The Waxman report said one abstinence-only curricula incorrectly says that people can contract HIV through exposure to sweat and tears.
Asked if he thought that was true, Frist said it 'would be very hard' to transmit HIV through sweat and tears."
----
wow, "very hard" ... everything about this presidential term is "hard" - "hard work" - HARD must be THE buzzword for this administration. You know, you type the word hard enough times and it looks and sounds really stupid, like when you say 'fork' too many times, or "drawer". I'm still pissed that Kerry didn't win - and sometimes I fucking wonder if he was in on it.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Well That Was a Fast Weekend!
Baby Short Decaf is fine, he's just a finicky 22 months old and was getting too many of his calories from milk and juice, he's perfectly on for weight and a bit taller than most kids his age. All is well and I am happy about this.
I got an email from the other woman who was a student at my Reiki class. She wants to come over to my house and practice once a week and I don't know what to tell her. I know I have to respond to the email - it's been in my inbox for three days now and I feel terrible that I haven't replied. It's just that I'm so embarrassed about my house - we don't have anything nice, it's not decorated, and to say the least; I'm not a neat-freak. Hell, we need to plan our move to the west coast and implement a plan of attack to free ourselves of all kinds of crap TEN MONTHS in advance just so we have enough time to accomplish it! I honestly don't know what to say to her. And from a practicality standpoint - there's nowhere in my home to actually practice Reiki - I don't have a massage table, my dining room table is too small and unstable, and my sofa is so old and broken down I'd never let a stranger sit on it. There's just no way this is going to work and I don't know what to say to her. Shit.
We put our Christmas tree up this weekend - this year we went with colored lights instead of white ones because I figured it would make baby decaf happy, which it did. He's very excited about the tree even though he isn't sure what it's doing in the house.
I have been terribly bored for the last four hours and so I've been typing and typing and typing. Emails, message boards and now blogs. My fingers hurt and I still feel lonely and bored. Lonely and it's not even a weekday! Well, okay - technically it is, but still...
I'm pissed off because over the weekend I didn't get a single personal email. What the fuck is that?? I write a ton of email to people - why don't they write back? That kind of goes against the whole idea of what communication is all about - it's a two way thing, if one end of the line isn't even sure the other end is getting the words - what the fuck is the point? I'm just pissed...I make an effort and then I sit there and wait for something to happen - I think, in general, people just suck.
Maybe I do, too, I don't know.
Anyway...
I'm now using Xeno's recommended web access tools...Firefox for browsing and Thunderbird for email - so far so good. Take a look at his blog for the links to make it all gel nicely. It took a few days and Xeno to figure out why I couldn't get Thunderbird to be able to receive my Gmail PoP email, but he finally figured it out when he recommended that I should double check my router settings to make sure the port wasn't blocked, which I swore it wasn't - but it was. I'm absolutely thrilled to be able to use Gmail and compose emails in HTML again, plus of course I was tired of having to go back and forth to Gmail's webpage. I'm not big on HTML in email, not like fluffy backgrounds or anything - but you know, bold is a nice thing to have access to, as is embedding images into the email instead of making them attachments. Bluck.
Well, this ought to be a semi-slow week instead of the usual 'sllloooowwwww' week I have - my sister MIGHT come to visit me before she leaves to go on her cruise on Wednesday, and uhm...that's it. God, is that really it?? Let me check my calendar...oh, yes - cool, something else to break up the monotany - my son has his Winter Choral Concert on Tuesday night at 7 so now I have that to look forward to. :) Yay! I love to watch him sing - he's so talented. The most handsome boy in the entire school, and man does it make me proud to see him up on that stage. I can't believe I forgot that was this week...cool!
Regarding my other son who has semi-disowned me because his father (the ex) has a pretty girlfriend and a cooler car than I do...my sister advised me to not get him a birthday present or Christmas present this year (he's turning 16 on the 20th) but I just can't do that, I hope I see him for his birthday - it's a big deal, I know - but I talked to my mom about it and she agrees with me, not acknowledging his birthday or Christmas in any way wouldn't be the right thing to do no matter how ugly he's been with me lately. I can't get him much of anything since we're flat broke anyway, but I'm not going to do nothing - just can't do that.
Huh. I'm bored. I was just staring at this hideously ugly signed print that was my father's, so I keep it - it's titled "Matrons & Marginal Women in Medieval Society" ... I decided to look up the artist on the web, and what the hell do you know - he's got a website... www.kenhull.com - of course, my print is only worth $55 unframed and unsigned, but heh...weird that I own it. God I hate that picture, I just can't get rid of it because it was my dad's.
Well, what do you know - I have officially run out of things to ramble on about. I guess I'll go and play a stupid word game on yahoo games or something.
I got an email from the other woman who was a student at my Reiki class. She wants to come over to my house and practice once a week and I don't know what to tell her. I know I have to respond to the email - it's been in my inbox for three days now and I feel terrible that I haven't replied. It's just that I'm so embarrassed about my house - we don't have anything nice, it's not decorated, and to say the least; I'm not a neat-freak. Hell, we need to plan our move to the west coast and implement a plan of attack to free ourselves of all kinds of crap TEN MONTHS in advance just so we have enough time to accomplish it! I honestly don't know what to say to her. And from a practicality standpoint - there's nowhere in my home to actually practice Reiki - I don't have a massage table, my dining room table is too small and unstable, and my sofa is so old and broken down I'd never let a stranger sit on it. There's just no way this is going to work and I don't know what to say to her. Shit.
We put our Christmas tree up this weekend - this year we went with colored lights instead of white ones because I figured it would make baby decaf happy, which it did. He's very excited about the tree even though he isn't sure what it's doing in the house.
I have been terribly bored for the last four hours and so I've been typing and typing and typing. Emails, message boards and now blogs. My fingers hurt and I still feel lonely and bored. Lonely and it's not even a weekday! Well, okay - technically it is, but still...
I'm pissed off because over the weekend I didn't get a single personal email. What the fuck is that?? I write a ton of email to people - why don't they write back? That kind of goes against the whole idea of what communication is all about - it's a two way thing, if one end of the line isn't even sure the other end is getting the words - what the fuck is the point? I'm just pissed...I make an effort and then I sit there and wait for something to happen - I think, in general, people just suck.
Maybe I do, too, I don't know.
Anyway...
I'm now using Xeno's recommended web access tools...Firefox for browsing and Thunderbird for email - so far so good. Take a look at his blog for the links to make it all gel nicely. It took a few days and Xeno to figure out why I couldn't get Thunderbird to be able to receive my Gmail PoP email, but he finally figured it out when he recommended that I should double check my router settings to make sure the port wasn't blocked, which I swore it wasn't - but it was. I'm absolutely thrilled to be able to use Gmail and compose emails in HTML again, plus of course I was tired of having to go back and forth to Gmail's webpage. I'm not big on HTML in email, not like fluffy backgrounds or anything - but you know, bold is a nice thing to have access to, as is embedding images into the email instead of making them attachments. Bluck.
Well, this ought to be a semi-slow week instead of the usual 'sllloooowwwww' week I have - my sister MIGHT come to visit me before she leaves to go on her cruise on Wednesday, and uhm...that's it. God, is that really it?? Let me check my calendar...oh, yes - cool, something else to break up the monotany - my son has his Winter Choral Concert on Tuesday night at 7 so now I have that to look forward to. :) Yay! I love to watch him sing - he's so talented. The most handsome boy in the entire school, and man does it make me proud to see him up on that stage. I can't believe I forgot that was this week...cool!
Regarding my other son who has semi-disowned me because his father (the ex) has a pretty girlfriend and a cooler car than I do...my sister advised me to not get him a birthday present or Christmas present this year (he's turning 16 on the 20th) but I just can't do that, I hope I see him for his birthday - it's a big deal, I know - but I talked to my mom about it and she agrees with me, not acknowledging his birthday or Christmas in any way wouldn't be the right thing to do no matter how ugly he's been with me lately. I can't get him much of anything since we're flat broke anyway, but I'm not going to do nothing - just can't do that.
Huh. I'm bored. I was just staring at this hideously ugly signed print that was my father's, so I keep it - it's titled "Matrons & Marginal Women in Medieval Society" ... I decided to look up the artist on the web, and what the hell do you know - he's got a website... www.kenhull.com - of course, my print is only worth $55 unframed and unsigned, but heh...weird that I own it. God I hate that picture, I just can't get rid of it because it was my dad's.
Well, what do you know - I have officially run out of things to ramble on about. I guess I'll go and play a stupid word game on yahoo games or something.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Ramblings
So, baby boy Short Decaf is going to the pediatrician in about 10 hours because I'm convinced he's underweight. He just won't eat unless you practically duct tape him to a chair and pry his mouth open with a jackhammer. Either he's just too busy or there's something wrong, or - there's nothing to worry about at all. Either way, it will be good to get SOME input from the doctor tomorrow. What kid doesn't like to eat???
Found a cool / funny website... well, a friend showed it to me and I can't stop reading it... The Jargon Lexicon
Finished my Reiki 1 classes last night and got a certificate and all that - it was really awesome, I am so proud of myself for starting the classes and seeing them all the way through to the end. Now I can't wait to start Reiki'ing everything in sight.
I really have nothing else to say so...that's it. Glad it's Friday, though, finally.
Found a cool / funny website... well, a friend showed it to me and I can't stop reading it... The Jargon Lexicon
Finished my Reiki 1 classes last night and got a certificate and all that - it was really awesome, I am so proud of myself for starting the classes and seeing them all the way through to the end. Now I can't wait to start Reiki'ing everything in sight.
I really have nothing else to say so...that's it. Glad it's Friday, though, finally.
I want to be Beth Hart
www.bethhart.com
Hell, I'm practically her now. Just need longer hair.
LA Song
By: BETH HART
From the CD: SCREAMIN FOR MY SUPPER
She hangs around the boulevard
She's a local girl with local scars
She got home late
She drank so hard the bottle ached
& she tried
but nothin's clear in a bar full a flies
So she takes
She understands when she gives it away
She says
Man I gotta get outta this town
Man I gotta get outta this pain
Man I gotta get outta this town
Outta this town & out of L.A.
She's gotta gun
She got a gun she calls the lucky one
She left a note right by the phone
Don't leave a message 'cause this ain't no home
& she cried
She cried so long her tears ran dry
Then she laughed
'Cause she knew she was never comin' back
She said
Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Man I'm gonna get outta this pain
Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Outta this town & out of L.A.
It's all she loves It's all she hates It's all too much for her
to take she can't be sure just where it ends or where
the good life begins
So she took a train
to a little old town without a name
She met a man he took her in
but fed her all the same bullshit again
'Cause he lied
he lied like a salesman sellin' flies
So she screamed
it's a different place
but the same old thang
It's all I love It's all I hate It's all too much for me to take
I can't be sure where it begins or if the good life lies within
So she said
Man I gotta get out of this town
Yeah now I gotta get back on that train
Man I gotta get out of this town
I'm outta my pain
So I'm goin' back to L.A.
Hell, I'm practically her now. Just need longer hair.
LA Song
By: BETH HART
From the CD: SCREAMIN FOR MY SUPPER
She hangs around the boulevard
She's a local girl with local scars
She got home late
She drank so hard the bottle ached
& she tried
but nothin's clear in a bar full a flies
So she takes
She understands when she gives it away
She says
Man I gotta get outta this town
Man I gotta get outta this pain
Man I gotta get outta this town
Outta this town & out of L.A.
She's gotta gun
She got a gun she calls the lucky one
She left a note right by the phone
Don't leave a message 'cause this ain't no home
& she cried
She cried so long her tears ran dry
Then she laughed
'Cause she knew she was never comin' back
She said
Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Man I'm gonna get outta this pain
Man I'm gonna get outta this town
Outta this town & out of L.A.
It's all she loves It's all she hates It's all too much for her
to take she can't be sure just where it ends or where
the good life begins
So she took a train
to a little old town without a name
She met a man he took her in
but fed her all the same bullshit again
'Cause he lied
he lied like a salesman sellin' flies
So she screamed
it's a different place
but the same old thang
It's all I love It's all I hate It's all too much for me to take
I can't be sure where it begins or if the good life lies within
So she said
Man I gotta get out of this town
Yeah now I gotta get back on that train
Man I gotta get out of this town
I'm outta my pain
So I'm goin' back to L.A.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Turkey
I have too much left over turkey...I wonder what the hell to do with it. Can you make Chicken Makhani with turkey? Hmmmm. I wish I had a friend who knew all about Indian cooking to ask this most important question. Venti - if you read this and need to figure something out - RESEARCH!!! :) WE NEED INDIAN FOOD.
Why Georgetown Scares Me
I meant to write about this a few days ago, Sunday actually, but never got around to doing it. While searching on Amazon for a present for my son, a coat, I was reminded of our drive through Georgetown and how utterly freakish it was to see how everyone was dressed IDENTICALLY. I suppose in order to be welcome in this very expensive section of Washington DC you must be wearing the following outfit: Blue jeans (trendy), black leather shoes (trendy), a (trendy) scarf, and above all else, a black coat. Now, the coat can be only one of two styles, but it must be black or you stand out, people point and stare - it's just not pretty. The coat must be a leather jacket, short and unadorned, simple in style and cut, or a wool peacoat - and don't forget, (trendy).
This area of DC is supposed to be trendy - the shops certainly are, but absolutely every single person I saw was wearing this same outfit. This goes against the very nature of every single store in "the zone" - trendy was all you saw in the windows.
What freaked me out the most, however, is that when I looked at what Venti and I were wearing, we were wearing the uniform, too!!! That's it - we've become LIKE THEM!! We're moving. I'm serious. 10 months from now we'll be back on the west coast and away from the Stepford communities here. I can't take it anymore - there is NO individuality, you MUST conform or you're a freak - and I always wanted to live in a town full of freaks, but not THIS kind of freaky!
I saw two girls in Georgetown who knew what they were doing, one had bleached platinum hair with a long black streak, her friend had purple hair, neither of them were wearing anything black and they both were laughing quite largely. Nobody in the black coats was laughing - another oddity. Fuckin Republicans.
I can't wait to move, I can't wait to not be ashamed of my real self, to express my inner self on the outside - and if I do decide to wear my black leather jacket, I'll know that I won't be in the majority - and that feels good.
I wonder what all of those people in Georgetown on Sunday REALLY wanted to be wearing. Who are they really? If they stopped hiding their true selves and just allowed their real selves to shine, what would I have seen instead? Why were they all so unhappy on such an incredibly beautiful Fall day? They must have had money - nobody shops there who doesn't, so it can't be that they were all financially sick - money can't buy happiness for these people I guess. Now - give me a shot at that one and I'll be happy, still not wear the "uniform" and probably dye my hair blue.
Another point I'd like to make about Georgetown is that NOBODY knows how to drive - you aren't even safe walking in this area because of it. I saw many people get nearly mowed down by idiots who don't know the "people in crosswalks get to go before you, asshole" law. Nobody, not a single soul will let you out of an intersection, ever. You MUST drive like an asshole to get out of Georgetown. I felt a little better once we got back into Virginia - but I think I'll feel a hell of a lot better once we get 3,000 miles away.
This area of DC is supposed to be trendy - the shops certainly are, but absolutely every single person I saw was wearing this same outfit. This goes against the very nature of every single store in "the zone" - trendy was all you saw in the windows.
What freaked me out the most, however, is that when I looked at what Venti and I were wearing, we were wearing the uniform, too!!! That's it - we've become LIKE THEM!! We're moving. I'm serious. 10 months from now we'll be back on the west coast and away from the Stepford communities here. I can't take it anymore - there is NO individuality, you MUST conform or you're a freak - and I always wanted to live in a town full of freaks, but not THIS kind of freaky!
I saw two girls in Georgetown who knew what they were doing, one had bleached platinum hair with a long black streak, her friend had purple hair, neither of them were wearing anything black and they both were laughing quite largely. Nobody in the black coats was laughing - another oddity. Fuckin Republicans.
I can't wait to move, I can't wait to not be ashamed of my real self, to express my inner self on the outside - and if I do decide to wear my black leather jacket, I'll know that I won't be in the majority - and that feels good.
I wonder what all of those people in Georgetown on Sunday REALLY wanted to be wearing. Who are they really? If they stopped hiding their true selves and just allowed their real selves to shine, what would I have seen instead? Why were they all so unhappy on such an incredibly beautiful Fall day? They must have had money - nobody shops there who doesn't, so it can't be that they were all financially sick - money can't buy happiness for these people I guess. Now - give me a shot at that one and I'll be happy, still not wear the "uniform" and probably dye my hair blue.
Another point I'd like to make about Georgetown is that NOBODY knows how to drive - you aren't even safe walking in this area because of it. I saw many people get nearly mowed down by idiots who don't know the "people in crosswalks get to go before you, asshole" law. Nobody, not a single soul will let you out of an intersection, ever. You MUST drive like an asshole to get out of Georgetown. I felt a little better once we got back into Virginia - but I think I'll feel a hell of a lot better once we get 3,000 miles away.
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