16 Weeks

I'm not really sure that I've ever done anything for 16 weeks, but I HAVE stuck to my low carb diet for that long. I've also lost 35 pounds, which is juuuuust a tad over 2 pounds a week. I'm definitely thinner, but certainly don't have that "Oh I just have so much energy!" high that I used to have in the beginning. That sucks. Of course, maybe it doesn't considering that I equate energy with anxiety.

The house is finally quiet. It's 2AM so it's about damn time. I'm staying up extra late tonight so that maybe I can sleep for a change. I don't know why, but lately I haven't been able to sleep straight through the night and every little thing wakes me up. I have dark circles under my eyes.

I never got a call about the job at PC so I guess I won't be getting that one. Considering how low-level it was I doubt I'll ever get a job there. That sucks. I was kind of hoping I'd get it just so I'd have something to do - and not have to listen to Short Decaf yelling, kicking, and screaming all day for the next - however many years this phase will last. It's rough.

I did the math on our weekend Sugar Free Decaf Breve Mochas - and considering that we buy the 20 ounce size, and that there are 8 carbs in a 8 ounces of 1/2 & 1/2 - we were consuming 20 carbs JUST on the mocha. No wonder we always gain weight on the weekends. Duh.

Bluh. I feel like crap. Probably BECAUSE of all those extra carbs from over the weekend. Well, they should be out of my system by morning so I'm sure I'll feel better then. That is IF I actually get some decent sleep.

I took a short walk today, which is a big deal for me considering I'm agoraphobic and exercise-phobic. It's actually a very big deal. Like if someone were terrified/phobic of spiders and opened a book with big close-up pictures of spiders in it and didn't immediately slam the book shut. That's about what I did today with the walk. It wasn't much - but it was something. It's something I'm going to try and repeat every day until it gets easier and easier.