This LC diet has brought a new pain in the ass - leg and muscle cramps. Obviously I need Potassium, but I'm pissed because I don't know how to use supplements and now I've read that if you use them wrong you can get a racing heart...or a lack of them can cause an irregular heartbeat. I wish I had a family doctor to talk about these things with. Sometimes, even though I'm losing weight on this diet, I think I should choose another method of weight loss. I even found out that LCing can cause a build-up of lactic acid in your muscles, and lactic acid makes people with panic disorder panic. Well, it is also what they give people so that they can experience what a panic attack feels like. Nice, huh? I just don't know what to do.
It's almost 1AM and I should be in bed because it's Friday - and the longer I stay awake, the less time I have with Venti in the morning. I hate to waste any time that I could be with him on the weekends. I have a feeling - no, I know - that if I go to bed right now I won't sleep very long - probably only until about 7 - and he won't be up that early.
Good news is that I didn't have any panic attacks today. I was careful with my xanax usage so that I wouldn't - but didn't overdo it. I stayed within my comfortable range with it, but I have to take 1mg more before I go to bed. God DAMN these muscle cramps. Always SOMETHING to make me panic. Grrr.
(Hmm...back to the lactic acid thing - that would explain why it felt like I did 1,000 crunches on Superbowl Sunday - just from jumping up and down when I was watching the game. )
Short Decaf is already asleep - so he'll be up early, too. I need to take a shower and not make any noise that will wake him up before I go to bed. That's going to be hard since his room is right next to the bathroom - and if he wakes up and calls for me and I don't answer he'll start crying. *sigh*
Just want to send a shout out to AWH...FUCK YOU MOTHER BITCHES!!! FUCK YOU FOR STRESSING OUT VENTI!!!!!!
Whew. That felt good.
I watched the opening ceremony for the Olympics tonight. I always feel compelled to watch it, but then lose interest in it as it seems to drag on and on. Venti fell asleep in the midst of it. Yeah, it was pretty boring. I can't wait for the figure-skating and the skiing, though. :) Oh - and the snowboarding - THAT'S what I'm really looking forward to the most! :) I'm so glad they're putting those on during Prime Time and not at like 3am or something ridiculous like that.
Oh - another diet-related issue. I have a big-ass bruise on my calf. I read that bruising means you're not getting Vitamin C. Shit. Another supplement I don't know how to use. I really wish I had a family doctor to talk to about this shit.
I've decided to 'fire' my panic doctor. Not my therapist, but the one with "prescriptive authority." I've heard from two of her patients now, and things aren't sounding good. One guy told me to just NOT see her again, and another said that "yeah - she seems kind of off lately." I agree. I just don't need some moody bitch fucking with my panic disorder - because I do enough of that for myself already! But, MAN do I like my psychologist. He's cool. He hasn't helped me much so far - well, hasn't helped me at all really - but he did get me in to see the massage therapist so he's the BEST in my book!
Okay, so is tomorrow (Saturday) going to be a cheat day or not? I just don't know at this point. I had been plateauing at a certain weight for more than a week, but then these past two days I lost a pound each day. Going off the plan will really fuck with that - and I don't really feel like cheating...I just want these goddamn cramps to go away. I don't want to see the scale say I gained five pounds after a 2 day carb binge (not that I'd pig out) - either.
Well...that's my rant.
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