Questions taken from Lance (lancearthur.com):
Questions taken from an interview with Mark Morris in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, altered accordingly.
Best household chore: Good God, chores? Ugh. Lighting incense doesn't count as a chore, does it? I wish it did because other than that, everything having to do with household chores really sucks. If I abolutely MUST choose, though, I would say folding laundry. There's just something ... somewhat nice ... about neatly stacked piles of clothing that smell good. The towels all should be the same size when folded even though so few of them actually match. And don't assume that the whole "doing laundry thing" is my favorite chore - anyone who knows me would laugh at the very notion. So...I guess folding laundry, or more specifically towels - would be my best household chore. (Unless the chores done by someone else count as the best ones?)
Fantasy career: I want to work for some unheard of government (ours) organization in some tiny little windowless room decrypting codes and only emerging into daylight when absolutely necessary. I wouldn't be the only one with little quirks like heinous shyness - and there would be a limitless source of stationary at my disposal since I'm such a pen/sticky-note/clippy freak.
Favorite place to shop: Pier 1 this season because everything is MY color, I picked it a long time ago and now just absolutely everyone has to go and use it - that incredibly soothing amber color that just goes so well with warm browns ... God, I love it. Second after that would be World Market, which I've been in three times in my life but I just want to live there. I can buy giant boxes of incense there...the good stuff...I can feel incredible fabrics and ponder over whether or not I'm committed enough to spend the money on a silk embroidered yoga mat and bag set for the incredibly low price of twenty five bucks. Maybe World Market is better....they sell food, too.
Superstitions: If I see a grouping of buzzards in a field close to me - they must be on the ground not in the air - it usually means that something pretty shitty is about to happen in my life. The first time I saw them my house burned down a day later and the last time I saw them my fifteen year old son moved out of the house after bashing me and my beloved Venti. Those fucking buzzards. My other bird superstition regards hawks. I see them so often it's not even funny. I have decided that if they are basically just there to remind me to pay attention ... if they are sitting in a branch just staring at me...I better pay pretty damn close attention to my life, and if they have their backs to me ... I don't know what that means, but I usually take it as a sign that I've done something bad or wrong or immoral and should re-evaluate. If one flies directly over the car - I believe something is going to happen that I should be prepared for, imminently.
I do throw salt over my shoulder if I spill it - don't know why. I believe that if a cricket is in my house that it's a good luck sign and the same goes for lady-bugs. Man, alot of my superstitions involve animals or bugs...weird.
Morning routine: Not as grandiose as others have written...I open my eyes because there is a 21 month old powerhouse 2 feet from the end of my bed screaming in sheer delight about the fact that the cat just walked past our bedroom door or that the wall is painted white, or that his sippy cup is yellow. I reluctantly get out of bed because he sees - waits and watches really - that my eyes are open and then all hell breaks loose, there's no turning my back on the fact that my day just began. I get up and kiss Short Decaf on the head and promise him I won't be long... go to the bathroom - do as much girl stuff and grooming as possible before the door is either (A) pushed open by the baby Short Decaf with his hands - or he jumps out of his crib and lands with a thud on the floor. Some days I get far enough into it that I can weigh myself, but those are usually bad days. I usually stay in my pj's since - where the hell am I gonna go and why put on nice clothing when they're just going to get oatmeal all over them anyway? - then kiss short decaf on the head a couple of times, tell him to pick up yellow bankie and we make our way downstairs - he gets a drink and cartoons and I get a cup of unsweetened decaf tea. This is my life every day.
Evening routine: Everyone goes to bed much earlier than I do, so I have nothing to do but things like this, surf the web - feel bad that everyone is asleep and pissed that the cat HAS to be on the top of my monitor with his tail covering - of course - the top left of the screen. I look at the clock a lot. Sometimes I write in my journal, sometimes I surf E-Bay, sometimes I obsessively check my inbox to see if anyone other than spammers have written. Anyway, so the actual routine of going to bed...uhm...go upstairs and collapse onto the bed after making sure that the fan is on (need that background noise) and that the closet door is open JUST the right amount so that if Short Decaf wakes up in the middle of the night he doesn't get scared. My covers are always messed up so I have to fix them - then lately I have been doing a Reiki healing session which is sort of relaxing, roll over onto my side, snuggle up with my pillow and pass out.
Favorite memento: Silly. It's a little clear plastic pentagon with a sticky backing. My grandfather bought a brand new Chrysler New Yorker - he only ever bought white cars...so this was oh, I think a '91 New Yorker. He was really sick with Parkinson's Disease and Leukemia and so he gave my dad the car. My dad passed away four years later and through a series of very strange events, I ended up with the car. I traded it in so we could get something less embarrassing to drive in Yuppie-ville where we live, and the last time I was in the Chrysler, I pried off the little pentagonal emblem from the passenger side door. I figured 'fuck-em' - they only gave me $500 as a trade in on it - they could do without the little symbol. I needed it, also, to remind me of my grandfather and my dad. I have it stuck to the inside of my wallet now.
Favorite place in the house: My very top front step in the front of my house. If it isn't too cold, and I'm sitting there smoking a cigarette and letting my mind wander, at night I can imagine that looking down to the left where the roads turns downward and curves slightly - that I live in some quaint little village where all the neighbors leave their front porch light on, where everyone knows everyone and that somewhere not so far away is a big city and that I live on a big hill overlooking it. In reality, it's just a big ole plot of townhouses in the middle of nowhere ... but i have a good imagination. I also like to just look at the stars...wonder how long it will be before all the leaves have fallen off of my one tree that is so much bigger than the 3 square yards of grass it grows out of...it belongs in a nice big back yard, really. I like to look at the moon when it happens to be in the right position and believe that it's a sign from The Goddess and The Universe that my energy is being cleansed. I have more revelations, resolutions and tears there, than anywhere else in my home. So, technically this is outside, but - yeah well, it has to still count, it's part of the house, right?
Best thing about being you: That I get to be married to Venti and nobody else does! And I feel like I have pretty much lucked out with my kids, I still can't believe I made them, and they are perfectly wonderful in their own special ways....but I would also have to say that my panic disorder website was a brazen move. I opened myself up and shared some very private things that others were afraid to share - and because of that, something like a half a million people have benefited from the website. It does feel good to know that - but it's hard keeping up with it. I've left it go - but I know it still helps people.
What's your reputation: A quiet, shy, not too bright, spiteful, anxious person who never finishes anything she starts. Only 2 of those things are false, really. The people I've worked for have loved my work and been blown away by my ability to "get it" ... so anyone I'm not related to seems to really like me - although they agree that I'm quiet, too - and anyone I am related to other than those that NOW live in this house, think I'm a weak and not-too-smart little child who needs help every inch of the way with absolutely everything I attempt to do. Very, very few people have faith in me - I would say three people do, and two of them are under the age of 14. I'm also thought of as a bit of a freak by a lot of people because I have panic attacks, but all I can do is hope that they don't ever really have a full blown panic attack so that they never know how awful it truly is - let them think what they will. Panic attacks don't mean you're stupid or weak - just the opposite, really....but I still wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. Well, maybe ONE of my worst enemy's.
Favorite movie: Night at the Roxbury? No...Grosse Point Blank, definitely. Goddamn John Cusack in that role is just THE ideal man.
Book to recommend: There are two but I'm having trouble remembering the second.... the first is Ancient Mysteries by Peter James and Nick Thorpe. "From the statues of Easter Island to the Pyramids of Egypt...Ancient Astronauts to Lost Roman Armies...Tiahuanaco to the Somerset Zodiac...Dracula to Edgar Cayce...Mystical Druids to Elusive Amazons...The Riddle of the Sphinx to the Grave of King Arthur....Discover the latest intriguing, scientifically sound explanations to Age-Old puzzles in Ancient Mysteries.
Second one is by Charles Van Dorin... A History of Knowledge: Past, Present and Future by Charles Van Doren Now THIS is the ultimate ME book...(and yes ... this is the guy that was caught up in that whole Quiz Show scandal, but damn he's brilliant!) I'll just give you a paste-in from Amazon, but really - buy the book, it's incredible beyond words.
"Crystal clear and concise...Explains how humankind got to know what it knows."
Your welcome mat: Ugly dark gray rubber mat that has no words, only scruffy lines cut into it - it's utilitarian and I like it that way. I fucking hate those cutesy door mats that say "I love my Doberman Pinscher...and he loves to eat people!" or some such bullshit. "Welcome" is even going too far since there are oh so very few people who come to my door who I want to feel welcome at ALL. And why the HELL would you put your name on your doormat??? People walking all over your name? That's just stupid.
Little big toy: The seat-heaters in my Mercedes. No, I'm kidding - although those ARE pretty great. I guess I know this is lame and not really a big toy, but my media card reader is my favorite "toy" to get pictures off of my digital camera as quickly as possible. It's not expensive, made by Lexar and has never failed me. I love that little purple thing.
Last meal: I technically haven't eaten dinner tonight and I REFUSE to answer this question like some people have and go with the whole "I'm on death row and this is what I'm ordering thing..." - (tangent much?) So no, I haven't eaten dinner but I did have some donuts and a poptart. No, that's not normal for me. It's still early so I guess I'll have some ham and bean soup which just might make my throat feel better. (Swollen glands because of the fucking dentist pulling out two wisdom teeth yesterday.)
Technology item you can't live without: Whatever the doohicky is that gives me access to the Internet. And, well, electricity so that my computer will continue to stay lit up. Other than that I don't actually own any real technology items...thinking.....thinking.....technology item...hmmm. Nope, don't have anything cool, so I'll just say my cell-phone...can't live without it. Oh, and NEXTEL SUCKS ASS.
Idea of the perfect party: All people dressed comfortably, sitting around a darkened room - either baked or a wee bit tipsy talking about all things metaphysical. I'd also get drunk then have outrageously great sex with Venti when we went home.
Topic you wouldn't bring up at a party: Since I only go to family parties, I'd have to say I'd never actually say out loud how stupid I think they all are with money....like my stepfather buying a $45,000 boat but refusing to go to the dentist and get teeth. Yes, he has only a few rotting teeth left in his mouth - has to cut up peanut butter toast into toddler-bite sized pieces for breakfast. GO GET THAT FIXED!!!! It's gross and just ... just gross. Fix it goddamnit. Sell the fucking boat you're afraid to actually USE and get some chompers, DUH!?
Fictional character you most identify with: I feel like I can identify strongly with almost every role John Cusack has ever had in a movie. Well, except of course that I'm female.
Favorite decorating technique: Throw absolutely everthing away and start over. Or move. If my house doesn't look like a villa in Tuscany, I'm not happy with it - and it doesn't and never will look like that - at least not until I hit the lottery and my kids are older - so until then, it's the throw shit away and start over approach for me.
Thing in your house you're fussiest about: People fucking drinking my caffeine free Pepsi. Also, I love my candles and incense and it pisses me off when someone burns some of my incense without asking me. I know it's just a little thing, but ... I don't know, it's mine, I guess, and I don't have many things that I feel like are "mine" - so it annoys me. Oh - the question was "fussy" not "pissy" - okay, I'm fussy about air temperature. I like it cool in the house, I sleep better at night when it's cool, and I like wearing warm fuzzy clothes even in summer, so the A/C is always cranked up then. I know that's selfish, let's call it quirky instead.
Procrastination technique: Denial seems to work pretty well for me.
Guilty pleasure: That moment when you've proven someone wrong, and they know it, and they know that YOU know they know. That's awesome. Other than that, I just like fuzzy warm socks.
What's by your bedside: A giant air conditioning unit that doubles as "just a fan for background noise", a lovely CD/Radio/Clock that Venti got me but I can never see the numbers on the clock for some reason, a Tracy Bonham CD that doesn't belong to me, a bottle of xanax, (just in case I panic in the middle of the night) ... and usually my extra pillow which slides off of the bed as soon as I fall asleep. Oh, and my jewelry box.
Pets: Mahoot. A not-too-bright cat with six toes on each foot. He is starting to annoy me ever since my oldest son moved out. I guess he is fuzzy-decaf. (The cat, not my son.)
Recent purchase: A mellow shade of amber wine glass, a box of incense, a bottle of Advil, a pack of cigarettes, and a pair of sneakers with Tigger and a soccer ball on them for Short Decaf because his feet keep growing faster than I can get shoes for him.
Always in the fridge: Milk, Decaf Pepsi and Chocolate Syrup.
Nagging injury: Every year from 1986 through 2000. No physical ones that come to mind.
Collections: Movies, incense, yoga information and candles. Also stationary products...it's a sickness, I know. I just can't help it, I love pens and sticky notes.
Fitness routine:
Recurring nightmare: That my teeth are falling out or crumbling. I hear this is a pretty common dream that is supposed to mean you aren't speaking your mind about something - which makes perfect sense for me.
Idea of a perfect day: 24 hours with Venti, having hit the lottery a few months prior, my kids nearby, everyone happy and me not anxious...and the location wouldn't matter ... that'd be enough. Hell, it would be enough even without the lottery.
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